I Screamed – but with Frustration.

Here’s the problem with Scream, the Netflix original series: so far (I’m on, like, episode four) the killer is showing definite signs of omniscience and omnipresence. That’s the problem.

The killer is a phantom, who seems to possess the attribute of invisibility when it suits, because he can get close enough to a character to see tears on her cheeks, but the character cannot see the killer; the killer is also a technological genius – having the power to hack the cell phone accounts of the George Washington High School students when it suits; the killer is able to predict future events, because he (I’m assuming the brutal murderer is not a female, this is a form of anti-sexism sexism) knows when to be down-the –alley or in-the-house or wherever – just as a character happens to show up in that spot.

So what is the point of a show like this?

It can’t be taken seriously (even allowing that it’s fiction) because it is a realist show, with ludicrously unrealist super-powered killer. Something this stupid needs to have comedy to smooth the edges of the irritation it produces in the minds of its audience (that’ll be my mind, obviously) and tell the audience not to take things too seriously. Dexter – stupid fucking show that it is – manages this perfectly and it’s that which makes it bearable.

The only piece of comedy so far is that the nerdy-geek IQ dude almost gets to lose his virginity to one of the hot-chick Heathers, and she gets a blade stuck in her before she lets the nerd stick anything else in. There’s some humour there because who else is going to be giving up a portion for this guy? But even this little bit of redeeming humour lacks credibility because since when do the Heathers screw the Nerds in a US High School show? They always screw the idiot Jocks.

This show is (almost) unbearably stupid.

There’s even a female student having an affair with her English literature teacher, and she hasn’t told any of her friends.

Really?

I’m going to take a punt and say that the teacher turns out to be the killer. I have no idea why – and I don’t much care.

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